Farewell Mishinda

Yesterday morning I was contacted by the aunt of one of my blog followers. I was taken aback by the call, as I’m super busy finalizing details for my upcoming event (Cupcakes & Cocktails). The caller sounded unsure as to whom she wanted to speak with.  As I waited to try and catch the voice she asked if she could speak with “The LupieChick”. I paused as I knew this was a Lupus related question as no one refers to me as the Lupie Chick in conversation. I acknowledged that I was the person she was looking for and she began to tell me about her niece, Mishinda. 

Mishinda was 26 years old, mother of 2, and had passed away from complications of Lupus on Sunday, February 24, 2013. I instantly felt my heart break (literally, I had a pain in my chest) as she began to speak about Mishinda. It pains me to hear stories of anyone lost their fight with  Lupus. Funny thing, she didn’t sound sad. She was laughing and telling me how Mishinda loved my blog and my willingness to just say whatever I wanted. Her favorite post was Am I Being A Bitch Or a Baby We laughed as I was slightly embarrassed by the title of that post. Mishinda referred to me as a pistol whipper (lol...lol...). She commented that she looked forward to my daily pictures of me smiling (I haven’t posted any pictures of my face in a while, as I’m going through a flare up and have the butterfly rash across my face ) and my reference to Lupus as Mister. 

Then, she suddenly  her tone of voice became serious. She stated that Mishinda asked her family to find me and get in contact with me because she wanted to speak to me. “ME????? “  Was my reply, as I never had any interaction with Mishinda? The family tried feverishly to find me, finally coming across my Facebook page, in which has my phone number listed. She asked me if I would attend the candle light virgil on Friday night to honor Mishinda. --- INSERT A PAUSE AND A LUMP IN MY THROAT—ME????  Ya’ll know I have a fear of public speaking. She replied- YES, we would like you to come and speak. I told her that I’m not a medical professional, I refrain from giving medical advice, and I can only speak about my experiences and my desire to bring awareness. Her reply: “BE YOU – BE THE FUNNY LUPIE CHICK THAT MISHINDA SO LOVED AND ADMIRED” [insert uncontrollable crying]. 

After I stop crying, and contacted a few friends, as I was unsure if I should attend. I questioned my ability to speak publicly (I have a MAJOR fear…. stomach is in knots RIGHT now as I think about it), I questioned what would my presence bring, can I meet Mishinda’s expectations or the families expectations, what would I stand up there and say??, sweating, stiff and straight like a statue with nothing coming outta my mouth?? [Oh my!]. All my friends encouraged me to do it and to let God guide my words. I realize the honor and blessing. I pray that I can deliver and fight through this fear.  I will attend the candle light service, and honor my lupie sister Mishinda the best way I know how. I can hear my siStar now “Sixx, You better werk hunty” (lol...lol...lol...) DO THAT!!!!!

Fam, I write this blog with no hidden agenda. My ONLY agenda is to share my life, and my experience with Lupus. I have no idea the number of people with whom my blog had inspired, made laugh, cry, or angry but I’m grateful to each and every one of you. Mishinda has encouraged me to continue to push, fight, and advocate for all Lupie Chicks. I NOW realize that Lupus is my ministry. It’s my duty to be a voice and a face for the invisible disease. Please keep me prayed up as I enter this new chapter of my life. #LupieChicks Unite!!!!!!!

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/TheLupieChickProject

Twitter: @lupieeChick

Instagram: @naturally_lupie

Blog: http://thelupiechick.blogspot.com

Email: lupiechick@gmail.com

Loving The Skin I'm In

People with lupus know the disease can affect various parts of their body, both inside and out, in a variety of ways. Though lupus is known to affect the joints, kidneys, heart and lungs, more often than not, one of the clearest signs that a person has developed the disease is the way it affects the skin.

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Lupus had (in my opinion) had taken my beauty. My face was on display for everyone to give me that side eye and saying " what the heck happen to you??" Although my family and friends assured me that I was beautiful and it was "ok"- I felt like that ugly duckling. A dear friend of mine ( First lady of Blue Line Productions - Rana) sent me a message one day that read " I miss your pretty face". She was referring to not seeing me out and about at local functions in the DC metro area, I started balling- because I literally MISSED MY PRETTY FACE! I'm 6"2 and wear 5 inch stilettos ( well I use too, until lupus started affecting my joints and my feet- damn him!) and I would walk in a room LIKE I OWNED IT-( at least like I paid the light bill..lol..lol..)- then came the red sores, the black scares, and the discoloration in my face- and my obsession with Dermablend!!!!! I would pack that stuff on like my life depended on it. I was hiding... and worse of all- I hated the skin I was in......

** wearing full coverage Dermablend makeup **

My physician gave me a referral to see Valerie D. Callender, M.D. to assist with my skin condition

Dr. Valerie Callender is an internationally recognized Board Certified Dermatologist, who is known for her expertise in Pigmentation Disorders and the medical and surgical treatment of Hair Loss in Women. Dr. Callender has written twelve (12) textbook chapters and many articles for academic journals. She has recently co-edited a textbook on the Treatment for Skin of Color

Dr. Callender office is located at 1220 Annapolis Road, Suite 315, Glendale, MD (301)249-0970. Her office offer a range of facial treatments, cosmetic procedures, & body treatments. On my appointment date- the office was PACKED! The ladies at the reception area were very nice and & courteous. My wait wasn't as long as I expected ( I waited maybe 15 minutes before I was taken to the examination room). Dr. Callender's assistant took a quick assesment of my medical history, and my concerns. 10 minutes later enter in Dr. Callender herself. We chatted a bit, she tried to lighten the "mood" ( I was very tense and nervous). As soon as Dr. Callender put on her gloves and started examining my face, the tears started to flow. She immediately stopped and comforted me. She continued her examine, speaking in a calm voice and re assuring me that all was going to be ok. I advised her what I had been doing, what products I'd been using, and just blurted out " I hate the way I look, I don't look good and I don't feel good". We discussed treatment plans, and she tried to assure me that she would help me. She asked me to trust her- she told me SHE WOULD NOT GIVE UP - MY SKIN WILL BE CLEAR AGAIN! At the end of the examine, I ask- " what makeup brand would you recommend for me?" she looked up at me ( dead in the eyes) and replied " NONE- when I get through, you wont need makeup!" ** what did she just say.. I wont need make up ... whoo freakin hooooooo!!!! let the treatment begin!!!!** {insert laughter from myself and Dr. Callender}

Below is my daily routine prescribed to me by Dr. Callender ( she actually wrote this down for me- including the steps!!!!)

** yes, my clarisonic is PURPLE in honor of my daily fight with Lupus**

~AM~
Cleanse (w/ clarisonic brush & Neutrogena Forming Face Wash)
SPF 70 ( all over face)
apply hydroquinone (4% strength) to dark spots ( using a qtip)
optional: apply makeup

~PM~
Cleanse (w/clarisonic brush & Neutrogena Foaming Face Wash)
Apply thin layer of Differin Gel ( all over face)
apply hydroquinone (4% strength) to dark spots ( using a q-tip)

I have been following this routine for 4 weeks. Look at me now!!!!!

No Makeup
**Excuse the pink hair rollers, I was setting my hair for a braid & curl out**

LOOK AT ME NOW AFTER 4 WEEKS!!!!!!! My skin is in the best shape right now. I owe it all to Dr. Callender!!!!! I'm positive that with a few more weeks of treatment I will be back to my beautiful dewy CLEAR skin " I loved before Lupus". As a physician, the most valuable thing Dr. Calender did was LISTEN!!!!! She allowed me to express my concerns and cry. She did a though examination and a though assessment of my skin care regimen( jotting down my current routine, noting the medications/creams previously used ( side effects, etc), eating habits, water intake, etc). She even gave me a "goodie bag" filled me with samples before I purchased full size bottles/tubes of the prescribed products. There's nothing more rewarding than a doctor that LISTENS to you and your concerns, and give you a "specific" treatment plan for your issues. I give Dr. Callender a A+ for a job well done, and she will FOREVER BE MY GO TO DERMATOLOGIST!!!!